Got a toothbrush?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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