There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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