pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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