was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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