You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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