nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
