yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
