i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
