hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
