Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
