and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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