How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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