i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
