I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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