How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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