So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
