drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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