I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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