I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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