This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
