Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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