Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
