Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's rum buckets o'clock
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
