she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize