I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
