What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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