idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
