I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
