I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize