Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
