Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
