in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
