I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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