i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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