he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
