my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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