YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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