so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize