We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
