1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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