i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
