So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
