It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
