I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
