Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
