he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
