Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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