Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
