I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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