I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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