mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize