so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize