Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
