Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
