that's an acceptable place to lick
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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