and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
