Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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