It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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