I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
