We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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