there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
