Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
