This girl is more easily done than said...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize