No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
