I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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